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Steven Choi's avatar

“ I have cried. I am undoing the practice of holding back tears because of a deep-seated fear that others, even those who love me, cannot carry my pain” —that part I uh—

I uh—you just named something that my body knew but my mind couldn’t (and/or wouldn’t?) name. I also fear that my body can’t carry my own pain because as a narcoleptic, intense and painful emotions make me sleepy, and my own mixed diabetes makes my stress regulation system (HPA axis) dysfunctional—to the point that I can risk hitting dangerously high glucose levels which will lower my body’s pH levels enough for it to be lethal if no inpatient intervention is done. And the healthcare in this damned country—yeah.

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Robert the contemplative's avatar

I missed your writing so much andddd knew that you needed time.

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