First, thank you for your vulnerability in this, Sharifa. We expect society to betray us as women in so many ways (and it is more for Black women)--but when our body does so ... then society doubles down as we seek answers ... it’s a lot (she says in chronic Illness).
This doesn’t necessarily address the emotional and sometimes visceral response to what you are experiencing--but I have found that this is a community of other women (and admittedly predominantly ww--so my apologies there in sharing this) who have all the questions and are looking for answers for the peri- and menopause journeys. Hoping it can help in some way for all the ways our bodies betray us in this time of our lives
Oh, you best believe I am on the menopause reddit, Megan Lyn. 🤣 There are definitely a lot of white women! There are also gentle people offering encouragement and good info for all the changes. I am there for them.
The disorientation of bodily changes is truly breathtaking. Humbling. And I have so much love and empathy for my relatives who went through this with grace.
The vulnerability in this! Thank you for sharing this with us. I have always had a complicated relationship with my hair to the point where I prefer to just cut it off to not deal with the frustration. I loved that although the tips you gave towards the end were specific to hair loss, most of them are great directives for all is us going through body changes we can’t quite figure out or get a handle on. Sending you all the love for this journey!
Ashleigh, thank you so much (I feel like specific feedback in comments is a whole love language, so I feel very graced by your comment). I am so glad that you found value in the stuff I am learning so far--that's my main reason for pressing "publish."
I am looking at razors *real* hard these days, Ashleigh. Real hard.
Hahaha while you tresses are beautiful and I may have shuddered a bit at the thought, you will be beautiful no matter what your crown looks like. And whatever makes you feel beautiful and less-stressed has my vote!
I appreciate the vulnerability and thoroughness. It’s beautiful to see the community that feels seen and safe to exhale thanks to your sharing, Sharifa. 🤍
I've been musing on whether/how to write about my hair loss, and can't thank you enough for this essay. My hair is the opposite of yours: nothing to write home about. But losing what little I have has been...painful. Demoralizing.
I really appreciate the grace, humor, and tenderness of this post.
It *is* painful and demoralizing. And it is so lonely. At least for me it was. I am grateful for the people, like you, who are walking the same path and sharing your stories with me, on and off Substack. I can say that I don't feel alone in this anymore.
Grieving with you. Our bodies are beautiful, wonderful, and glorious. And they are stress-inducing, betraying, and constant reminders of the fallen world we live in. Praying for comfort in your journey, and more compassionate doctors and pharmacists along the way. And thanks for your vulnerability! Aging is a horribly un-talked about topic in church / church-adjacent spaces, despite the large numbers who experience it. ;-)
Horribly untalked about! Yes! I was just talking with someone at church about this very thing. And we neeeeeed the people who are walking ahead of us to tell us how they are navigating this path of aging (and also tell us what they need -- because I know that I am just unaware oftentimes).
I saw the title of this post on my way to work this morning and took a deep breath. I knew I needed to be seated in my body to read and be present with your story and I am so glad I waited...and waded with you. Thank you for your vulnerability...its yours to give as you wish, and in making the choice to share this, I hope so many Black women are liberated. You are beautiful and your hair is just one of the many crowns that you wear. 🖤
I'm so here for anything you want to write about perimenopause (and I'm so sorry about the hair loss)! I'm only 29, but my hormones are wildly out of whack right now, and in the back of my mind I've been wondering about whether or not my Long COVID could be pushing me in that direction. And even if that's not the case and it's some other sort of hormonal issue, I'm trying to glean as much as I can from those who have experienced perimenopause because just about everyone I know says they were wildly unprepared for it when it came. I cannot wait for the day when health issues impacting women are much more widely studied and therefore understood because right now it's a hot mess!
Ugh, Kelly, I am sorry to hear about your hormones being wildly our of whack! These hormones dictate soooo much of our quality of life--and I have read about long COVID exacerbating conditions, so I wouldn't be surprised if that is also a factor. What have you learned from your perimenopausal friends?
I feel like I'm at the very beginning of gleaning information, but one of the biggest surprises thus far has been just how many things are impacted by estrogen, including bone health. One book on perimenopause I've seen recommended in multiple places but haven't yet read is What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna.
Thank you for your honesty and for being you. You are so much more than your hair, and yet I mourn with you the loss of ANYTHING when you’ve already endured so much. These bodies care for us and also betray us, and it is so hard. Prayers as you journey through the figuring-it-out it seems we do over and over, I’m right there too (with different issues). Always grateful I get to be in a world where Sharifa writes.
Jodi! I know that there is so much that you can relate to about body changes--it's WIIIILD. I still remember when you posted about some of your hard-fought triumphs, and cheering for you. Our bodies can be so mysterious and stubborn.
First, thank you for your vulnerability in this, Sharifa. We expect society to betray us as women in so many ways (and it is more for Black women)--but when our body does so ... then society doubles down as we seek answers ... it’s a lot (she says in chronic Illness).
This doesn’t necessarily address the emotional and sometimes visceral response to what you are experiencing--but I have found that this is a community of other women (and admittedly predominantly ww--so my apologies there in sharing this) who have all the questions and are looking for answers for the peri- and menopause journeys. Hoping it can help in some way for all the ways our bodies betray us in this time of our lives
https://www.reddit.com/r/Menopause/
Again, thank you. And sending you love and good health vibes and a helpful village in this journey! 💛
Oh, you best believe I am on the menopause reddit, Megan Lyn. 🤣 There are definitely a lot of white women! There are also gentle people offering encouragement and good info for all the changes. I am there for them.
The disorientation of bodily changes is truly breathtaking. Humbling. And I have so much love and empathy for my relatives who went through this with grace.
thank you, thank you.
Thank you for reading, Jordan. 🖤
Oh friend what an offering. Thank you
🥹
The vulnerability in this! Thank you for sharing this with us. I have always had a complicated relationship with my hair to the point where I prefer to just cut it off to not deal with the frustration. I loved that although the tips you gave towards the end were specific to hair loss, most of them are great directives for all is us going through body changes we can’t quite figure out or get a handle on. Sending you all the love for this journey!
Ashleigh, thank you so much (I feel like specific feedback in comments is a whole love language, so I feel very graced by your comment). I am so glad that you found value in the stuff I am learning so far--that's my main reason for pressing "publish."
I am looking at razors *real* hard these days, Ashleigh. Real hard.
Hahaha while you tresses are beautiful and I may have shuddered a bit at the thought, you will be beautiful no matter what your crown looks like. And whatever makes you feel beautiful and less-stressed has my vote!
I appreciate the vulnerability and thoroughness. It’s beautiful to see the community that feels seen and safe to exhale thanks to your sharing, Sharifa. 🤍
Ah, Amarah, thank you so much.
I've been musing on whether/how to write about my hair loss, and can't thank you enough for this essay. My hair is the opposite of yours: nothing to write home about. But losing what little I have has been...painful. Demoralizing.
I really appreciate the grace, humor, and tenderness of this post.
It *is* painful and demoralizing. And it is so lonely. At least for me it was. I am grateful for the people, like you, who are walking the same path and sharing your stories with me, on and off Substack. I can say that I don't feel alone in this anymore.
I am so glad you don't feel alone. Your essay certainly made me feel like I'm in good company.
Grieving with you. Our bodies are beautiful, wonderful, and glorious. And they are stress-inducing, betraying, and constant reminders of the fallen world we live in. Praying for comfort in your journey, and more compassionate doctors and pharmacists along the way. And thanks for your vulnerability! Aging is a horribly un-talked about topic in church / church-adjacent spaces, despite the large numbers who experience it. ;-)
Horribly untalked about! Yes! I was just talking with someone at church about this very thing. And we neeeeeed the people who are walking ahead of us to tell us how they are navigating this path of aging (and also tell us what they need -- because I know that I am just unaware oftentimes).
So sorry you are going through this. That pic shows you had quite a glorious crown. Sending love.
Thank you; I receive it 🖤
I saw the title of this post on my way to work this morning and took a deep breath. I knew I needed to be seated in my body to read and be present with your story and I am so glad I waited...and waded with you. Thank you for your vulnerability...its yours to give as you wish, and in making the choice to share this, I hope so many Black women are liberated. You are beautiful and your hair is just one of the many crowns that you wear. 🖤
Well, Rose, you just made me cry good tears. Thank you.
And yes to liberation out of shame into belovedness.
Here to say that you for sharing your truth. My wife has been stressing over this and it helps knowing that this is really common. 50% was a shocker.
It is a shocker that this is so common! Hugs to your wife. And solidarity. And deep, cleansing breaths.
I'm so here for anything you want to write about perimenopause (and I'm so sorry about the hair loss)! I'm only 29, but my hormones are wildly out of whack right now, and in the back of my mind I've been wondering about whether or not my Long COVID could be pushing me in that direction. And even if that's not the case and it's some other sort of hormonal issue, I'm trying to glean as much as I can from those who have experienced perimenopause because just about everyone I know says they were wildly unprepared for it when it came. I cannot wait for the day when health issues impacting women are much more widely studied and therefore understood because right now it's a hot mess!
Ugh, Kelly, I am sorry to hear about your hormones being wildly our of whack! These hormones dictate soooo much of our quality of life--and I have read about long COVID exacerbating conditions, so I wouldn't be surprised if that is also a factor. What have you learned from your perimenopausal friends?
I feel like I'm at the very beginning of gleaning information, but one of the biggest surprises thus far has been just how many things are impacted by estrogen, including bone health. One book on perimenopause I've seen recommended in multiple places but haven't yet read is What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna.
I see you, beautiful friend, and I wish I could make it all better. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I wish you could, too 🤣
Thank you so much, Marla.
Sharifa, I grief and stress and celebrate with you. Thank you for sharing and inviting us into this journey with you.
Thanks, Camille. I appreciate you so.
I learned recently with my own health issues that Google is a horrible place to go!
I hope your health issues are surmountable, Scott. And yeah, Google is...a mixed bag for real.
I, like you, am trapped by genetics. I think “livable” is the best word.
Thanks for sharing your journey so far. I have noted bravery becomes a more appreciated attribute as I grow older.
And, your bravery shined throughout this piece.
Thank you. 🥹
Thank you for your honesty and for being you. You are so much more than your hair, and yet I mourn with you the loss of ANYTHING when you’ve already endured so much. These bodies care for us and also betray us, and it is so hard. Prayers as you journey through the figuring-it-out it seems we do over and over, I’m right there too (with different issues). Always grateful I get to be in a world where Sharifa writes.
Jodi! I know that there is so much that you can relate to about body changes--it's WIIIILD. I still remember when you posted about some of your hard-fought triumphs, and cheering for you. Our bodies can be so mysterious and stubborn.
Thank you so much for the chin-lift.