Ohhhhh, I am so sorry. And so relieved that you knew to listen to yourself. And so glad that you're continuing to! Those tears are cathartic, I'm sure.
Loss is such an intimate experience, thank you for sharing so potently. When I was in the throws of mental health challenges during grad school I felt so adrift by that which I couldn't control. To regain some semblance of agency I would make gratitude lists that would buoy me from one moment to the next. It really helped to focus on what I had. Thank you for the read.
Your words are so powerful. You gave voice to so many of the bodily losses I have been caring since I was diagnosed with breast cancer: the loss of my hair to chemo, the loss of my breasts to mastectomy, the loss of fertility, etc. Each loss is unique, private, intimate, and yet your words remind me how we can meet each other in the place of loss, too. My gratitude list includes your vulnerability to share this truth with us.
Thank you for sharing sis! Thank you for waking each day and living despite the heartache, heartbreak, and disappointment living in this world can bring. Thank you for sharing your hair journey when you don't have to. Lifting you up today. ❤️🙏🏿
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I am also losing my hair. My sister is losing her hair. Our grandmother went completely bald. As children, we never thought such a reality could be in store for us. We had mountains of hair. Too much hair. Hair that seemed to clog whatever drain it could find. And now, that reality has deeply shifted. I noticed I started to lose my hair after I got Covid. I thought it would grow back. But no. I appreciate your connecting this to inflammation because that had not occurred to me. I think you've opened the door for my own research.
Sending lots of love, Sharifa. And so grateful for your words, witness, and good work. Your gratitude list made me a bit teary, what a beautiful gift to share with us.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hair can be so intertwined with identity, and with our relationships, like you've shown. Mine's been thinning as I age, and that's been hard. But what resonated most with me was your instinct to move into gratitude. I've had terrible stomach problems lately, and I'm really focused on giving thanks for each food I can eat and be nourished by. It does help. Focusing on what is rather than what isn't, means being present. And that's where all the best of it is. So appreciate your openness with these posts. Vulnerability is so hard, and so important. Be well.
Much love for you & your honesty. Happy to read you have a loving support system too! Hair loss/grief is unlike anything I ever experienced. I too cried every day for 2 months when my postpartum hair loss was relentless despite my efforts & prayers. Eventually I had to work up the courage to buzz hair that was down my back off with the help of my husband. I still look in the mirror saddened to not see my hair some days but also relieved to not see it falling out every shower. My spirit is brighter after cutting it off & I can only hope to learn to love myself more without it as time goes on. Wishing you well on this journey, you’re never alone. Xoxo
As always I appreciate your vulnerability. You and Trey have been church for me. Since reading what you all write I feel like my relationship with God has become more complex, deeper, and real. I wish I had friends like y’all IRL- people who love God, and understand that a relationship with Him is so layered because of our nature. I’m grateful for you, and the reminder that God loves me even when I’m angry, fall short, or just don’t understand him. Appreciate you - this is ministry.
Oh my goodness, from the beginning to the end of this letter, I was giving thanks and humming out agreement. I'm offering love your way given this new revelation, hope you find all the healing and ease needed as you rise up and lay down too in this learning. Just here to say how beautiful you are for affirming yourself so hard even while I can imagine it is difficult. You're a light and we're praying for you!
Especially love this line (and so many others): 'I want to give thanks for my intuition that said, “something’s wrong” over and over again — my gut is trustworthy.'
Also! Literally have a tab open with Yogi Nico's challenge. Just settling into my new place and Yogi Nico's challenge has been helping me ground. So so nice to see that we're both moving the vessel with joy in mind. Give thanks
Got a diagnosis of arthritis in my hip last week. Explains a lot, to include why I couldn't exercise enough to take off the weight that would help my hip be better (see the vicious cycle?).
Now that I know, it's one day at a time, getting help, eating better, and being gracious to myself when there was once frustration with how my body was made.
Sharifa, thank you for your vulnerability + openness with your hair journey. I pray that you are filled with light + LOVE as people read + share in your experience. As brown women, the hair journey can be equally fulfilling + cruel depending on social expectations: an unfortunate truth, but a fact nonetheless. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 +, at the time, had very long hair. It wasn't until I lost it all to chemo + decided NOT to wear a wig, that I learned the true weight of it. My being bald openly made for fewer meeting invites, fewer business travel invites, less...and less...and less. However, this pruning process {God orchestrated} led to only those who truly cared still being by my side, taking up space...the fruit count on my tree looked different, but it was more authentic...rich + juicy! I, too, am THANKFUL for the then + now...that God would LOVE me so that I'd be shown a side of humanity that would, in turn, clean up my circle + lead me to here...where I am now...surrounded by LOVE. I wrote about my journey at https://benivialee.substack.com/p/a-break-from-normal I do hope you read + enjoy it. With care...
Ohhhhh, I am so sorry. And so relieved that you knew to listen to yourself. And so glad that you're continuing to! Those tears are cathartic, I'm sure.
Please keep taking care of yourself xoox
Loss is such an intimate experience, thank you for sharing so potently. When I was in the throws of mental health challenges during grad school I felt so adrift by that which I couldn't control. To regain some semblance of agency I would make gratitude lists that would buoy me from one moment to the next. It really helped to focus on what I had. Thank you for the read.
Your words are so powerful. You gave voice to so many of the bodily losses I have been caring since I was diagnosed with breast cancer: the loss of my hair to chemo, the loss of my breasts to mastectomy, the loss of fertility, etc. Each loss is unique, private, intimate, and yet your words remind me how we can meet each other in the place of loss, too. My gratitude list includes your vulnerability to share this truth with us.
Thank you for sharing sis! Thank you for waking each day and living despite the heartache, heartbreak, and disappointment living in this world can bring. Thank you for sharing your hair journey when you don't have to. Lifting you up today. ❤️🙏🏿
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I am also losing my hair. My sister is losing her hair. Our grandmother went completely bald. As children, we never thought such a reality could be in store for us. We had mountains of hair. Too much hair. Hair that seemed to clog whatever drain it could find. And now, that reality has deeply shifted. I noticed I started to lose my hair after I got Covid. I thought it would grow back. But no. I appreciate your connecting this to inflammation because that had not occurred to me. I think you've opened the door for my own research.
Oh dear friend. 🫂 your husband is a treasure and you deserve to take up space. Here in the unknowing and the knowing. Bless you precious one
Sending lots of love, Sharifa. And so grateful for your words, witness, and good work. Your gratitude list made me a bit teary, what a beautiful gift to share with us.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hair can be so intertwined with identity, and with our relationships, like you've shown. Mine's been thinning as I age, and that's been hard. But what resonated most with me was your instinct to move into gratitude. I've had terrible stomach problems lately, and I'm really focused on giving thanks for each food I can eat and be nourished by. It does help. Focusing on what is rather than what isn't, means being present. And that's where all the best of it is. So appreciate your openness with these posts. Vulnerability is so hard, and so important. Be well.
So sorry you are losing your crown of beauty. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability. 💕
Much love for you & your honesty. Happy to read you have a loving support system too! Hair loss/grief is unlike anything I ever experienced. I too cried every day for 2 months when my postpartum hair loss was relentless despite my efforts & prayers. Eventually I had to work up the courage to buzz hair that was down my back off with the help of my husband. I still look in the mirror saddened to not see my hair some days but also relieved to not see it falling out every shower. My spirit is brighter after cutting it off & I can only hope to learn to love myself more without it as time goes on. Wishing you well on this journey, you’re never alone. Xoxo
As always I appreciate your vulnerability. You and Trey have been church for me. Since reading what you all write I feel like my relationship with God has become more complex, deeper, and real. I wish I had friends like y’all IRL- people who love God, and understand that a relationship with Him is so layered because of our nature. I’m grateful for you, and the reminder that God loves me even when I’m angry, fall short, or just don’t understand him. Appreciate you - this is ministry.
Oh my goodness, from the beginning to the end of this letter, I was giving thanks and humming out agreement. I'm offering love your way given this new revelation, hope you find all the healing and ease needed as you rise up and lay down too in this learning. Just here to say how beautiful you are for affirming yourself so hard even while I can imagine it is difficult. You're a light and we're praying for you!
Especially love this line (and so many others): 'I want to give thanks for my intuition that said, “something’s wrong” over and over again — my gut is trustworthy.'
Also! Literally have a tab open with Yogi Nico's challenge. Just settling into my new place and Yogi Nico's challenge has been helping me ground. So so nice to see that we're both moving the vessel with joy in mind. Give thanks
Got a diagnosis of arthritis in my hip last week. Explains a lot, to include why I couldn't exercise enough to take off the weight that would help my hip be better (see the vicious cycle?).
Now that I know, it's one day at a time, getting help, eating better, and being gracious to myself when there was once frustration with how my body was made.
Walking this journey with you, friend.
I’m just sending a hug 🥰
Sharifa, I just adore you. I’m gutted for you. It’s hard when the unexpected happens to our bodies.
Sharifa, thank you for your vulnerability + openness with your hair journey. I pray that you are filled with light + LOVE as people read + share in your experience. As brown women, the hair journey can be equally fulfilling + cruel depending on social expectations: an unfortunate truth, but a fact nonetheless. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 +, at the time, had very long hair. It wasn't until I lost it all to chemo + decided NOT to wear a wig, that I learned the true weight of it. My being bald openly made for fewer meeting invites, fewer business travel invites, less...and less...and less. However, this pruning process {God orchestrated} led to only those who truly cared still being by my side, taking up space...the fruit count on my tree looked different, but it was more authentic...rich + juicy! I, too, am THANKFUL for the then + now...that God would LOVE me so that I'd be shown a side of humanity that would, in turn, clean up my circle + lead me to here...where I am now...surrounded by LOVE. I wrote about my journey at https://benivialee.substack.com/p/a-break-from-normal I do hope you read + enjoy it. With care...