Hi Sharifa, reading these questions through a second time, the follow up question that feels pressing to me is in regards to “What rites of passage have we left by the wayside in the name of modernity?” I’m curious for context, it seems like maybe you have some in mind?, and if you don’t that the trigger for the question seems like it would be enlightening to understand. If you don’t mind accepting HW from a disembodied stranger who maybe has never commented in your space before. Internet relationships are weird.
Internet relationships ARE weird 🤣. Thank you for asking for clarification.
One of my kids is turning 13. It’s the (slow but significant) ramp up to adulthood. I don’t want this birthday to pass without something special.
I don’t want to appropriate a bar mitzvah, but I admire the intentionality, the gravitas, the spirituality, the communal acknowledgment and celebration.
I’m missing that guidance and tradition for this moment in my child’s life. Does that make sense? (But I realize I have the capacity to imagine something special for our family. And I’m trying.)
Hi Sharifa, thanks for the context. I do understand the lack of guidance and tradition you’re feeling and do believe we have lost traditions, whether or not they’re explicitly in the name of modernity or just a drifting away as time has moved forward. I’m not sure why/how we’ve gotten to where we are but would love to hear anyone that can speak to that!
The practice of a quinceañera came to mind (for both me and my husband) but that seems to fits your situation even less than a bar mitzvah.
I have a book called the Art of Tradition: A Christian Guide to Building a Family that has some ideas that I think would at least help prime the pump in your imagining of what would be special for your family. It doesn’t seem like I can attach pictures here but let me know where/how I can send you the applicable pages I found, I would love to send them your way! (Although I should probably read them first myself so I know what it is I’m sending you!)
good health insurance is for the select few because of finance-driven neoliberal capitalism. and we tied health insurance to employers. And elected officials- esp those who make laws and take money from Big Pharma and HC corps - basically have socialized medicine that we don't get access to.
put all them congressmen and women into the marketplace and insurance would get fixed REAL fast.
There’s this fear of “giving other people free stuff” that I believe is one of many palpable bastions of the legacy of enslavement that continues to haunt this country’s governance and values. It’s interwoven into the way capitalism is practiced--this sense of, “everybody has to earn it” code language that indicts and castigates the poor and marginalized.
Even within a capitalist system, aren’t healthy workers more productive workers?
You ain’t lying about the lobbying/greed that shapes these decisions that essentially cannibalize the people, yet gild our representatives. It’s maddening. Every time I see a drug commercial, I get so angry because it doesn’t have to be this way! Allowing chronic illnesses to flourish in order to profit??? Diabolical!
Wish this country defended flourishing the way we defend free enterprise.
Thank you for sharing your questions with us. It definitely creates the space I long for where I don't have answers and wonder if I'm the only one.
Lamenting with you at the answers (or lack thereof) to some of your questions.
Pondering some of the other questions and their answers . . .
Kelly is right about the smaller product sizes - it's 100% a corporate strategy to appear not to raise prices by simply giving consumers less.
Whenever I'm on an antibiotic, I still take my daily probiotic. I read at some point that it's safe, may help relieve or prevent diarrhea associated with antibiotics, and should still be effective as long as you take the probiotics at least two hours after the antibiotic. Right or wrong, reading more than one source with this same opinion solidified this course of action in my mind.
And the most pressing question on my mind these days - why can't I ever seem to eradicate the fruit flies (or whatever they are) in my home, and why do they occasionally feel compelled to fly into my mouth or nose?
Ooooh! I have been giving the boys their antibiotic and probiotic at the same time! I will stop that immediately! See, Don, you have helped us (again)!
Fruit flies are annoying, man. I do the little saucer of soap water covered with saran wrap with little fork holes, and that does work somewhat.
My root canal specialist suggested taking the probiotic in the middle of the two antibiotics, e.g., 7 AM antibiotic #1 (with breakfast), 1 PM probiotic, #7 PM antibiotic #2 (with dinner) - and I cheat and just take the probiotic as I'm going to bed, because I'm not staying up till 1 AM! I had zero gastro ill-effects from the antibiotic with this regime and it was easy to remember.
Re the Seventh Generation bottle being smaller - I would guess yes. I’ve been noticing this with lots of products I typically buy this year, and it feels shady - I get that inflation is making everything more expensive, but it feels like the equivalent of raising the price but not letting the customer know. It’s like they’re hoping we won’t notice that we’re actually getting less product for the same price. A semi-related question: what happens when the rising cost of everything collides with student loans going into repayment? This is a fear I’m wrestling with as someone who is disabled and unable to work enough at the moment to make enough to pay all my bills, and is currently relying on some savings from previous years when I could work more that won’t last forever.
For the question of the billionaires, I don’t necessarily have an answer, but I think it has to do with the narratives we believe. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the narratives we tell as a society, and how strongly those narratives shape our actions. If you believe that people who are suffering are lazy, you’re much less inclined to do things you could that would help alleviate their suffering.
As to moving away from friends and family at 18, I feel this so much! Now I’ve lived in the place I moved to at 18 for 10 years, and made incredible friends here, so even if I were to move back closer to my hometown, my heart will forever be in two places. And I often think about how my life would be different if I had stayed closer to home at 18. There are definite benefits and things I love where I currently live, but some days I really wish I was closer to family.
I like this stream of consciousness style of writing, and appreciate you asking the questions that have been on your mind. This is definitely how my brain works too.
I feel so much seen-ness in your response, Kelly. Thank you for taking the meandering journey with me.
It's crazy-making to see just how plausible it is to create a better world for *everyone* through reallocation of funds, but more than that (as you stated) with a shift in defining the heroes of our national stories. What if the hero wasn't the person with the most stuff? What if the heroes were the innovators in alleviating the aches of society? What if we were more than consumer projects and guinea pigs?
I moved decades ago, too. I am torn because I love the relationships here AND I miss my people so much. I just want us all to be together (preferably in a place near the equator with a gentle sea breeze).
My theory with billionaires is based on once hearing that most CEOs are basically functioning sociopaths. I think they are basically incapable of thinking of other people. They are so stepped in themselves that nothing else exists.
Hi Sharifa, reading these questions through a second time, the follow up question that feels pressing to me is in regards to “What rites of passage have we left by the wayside in the name of modernity?” I’m curious for context, it seems like maybe you have some in mind?, and if you don’t that the trigger for the question seems like it would be enlightening to understand. If you don’t mind accepting HW from a disembodied stranger who maybe has never commented in your space before. Internet relationships are weird.
Internet relationships ARE weird 🤣. Thank you for asking for clarification.
One of my kids is turning 13. It’s the (slow but significant) ramp up to adulthood. I don’t want this birthday to pass without something special.
I don’t want to appropriate a bar mitzvah, but I admire the intentionality, the gravitas, the spirituality, the communal acknowledgment and celebration.
I’m missing that guidance and tradition for this moment in my child’s life. Does that make sense? (But I realize I have the capacity to imagine something special for our family. And I’m trying.)
Hi Sharifa, thanks for the context. I do understand the lack of guidance and tradition you’re feeling and do believe we have lost traditions, whether or not they’re explicitly in the name of modernity or just a drifting away as time has moved forward. I’m not sure why/how we’ve gotten to where we are but would love to hear anyone that can speak to that!
The practice of a quinceañera came to mind (for both me and my husband) but that seems to fits your situation even less than a bar mitzvah.
I have a book called the Art of Tradition: A Christian Guide to Building a Family that has some ideas that I think would at least help prime the pump in your imagining of what would be special for your family. It doesn’t seem like I can attach pictures here but let me know where/how I can send you the applicable pages I found, I would love to send them your way! (Although I should probably read them first myself so I know what it is I’m sending you!)
*can’t. Pretty significant typo. I can’t attach pictures.
You better believe it
I want to hear you speak about precisely all of these questions. Thank you so much.
You givin' me homework, as usual. 🤣
good health insurance is for the select few because of finance-driven neoliberal capitalism. and we tied health insurance to employers. And elected officials- esp those who make laws and take money from Big Pharma and HC corps - basically have socialized medicine that we don't get access to.
put all them congressmen and women into the marketplace and insurance would get fixed REAL fast.
There’s this fear of “giving other people free stuff” that I believe is one of many palpable bastions of the legacy of enslavement that continues to haunt this country’s governance and values. It’s interwoven into the way capitalism is practiced--this sense of, “everybody has to earn it” code language that indicts and castigates the poor and marginalized.
Even within a capitalist system, aren’t healthy workers more productive workers?
You ain’t lying about the lobbying/greed that shapes these decisions that essentially cannibalize the people, yet gild our representatives. It’s maddening. Every time I see a drug commercial, I get so angry because it doesn’t have to be this way! Allowing chronic illnesses to flourish in order to profit??? Diabolical!
Wish this country defended flourishing the way we defend free enterprise.
I attempted to write about standing up to the small men, and it didn't bring me any satisfaction. *sigh*
Relatable, Andrea. I feel like it's taking a stand some days; others, it feels like a waste of time and energy.
Thank you for sharing your questions with us. It definitely creates the space I long for where I don't have answers and wonder if I'm the only one.
Lamenting with you at the answers (or lack thereof) to some of your questions.
Pondering some of the other questions and their answers . . .
Kelly is right about the smaller product sizes - it's 100% a corporate strategy to appear not to raise prices by simply giving consumers less.
Whenever I'm on an antibiotic, I still take my daily probiotic. I read at some point that it's safe, may help relieve or prevent diarrhea associated with antibiotics, and should still be effective as long as you take the probiotics at least two hours after the antibiotic. Right or wrong, reading more than one source with this same opinion solidified this course of action in my mind.
And the most pressing question on my mind these days - why can't I ever seem to eradicate the fruit flies (or whatever they are) in my home, and why do they occasionally feel compelled to fly into my mouth or nose?
Ooooh! I have been giving the boys their antibiotic and probiotic at the same time! I will stop that immediately! See, Don, you have helped us (again)!
Fruit flies are annoying, man. I do the little saucer of soap water covered with saran wrap with little fork holes, and that does work somewhat.
My root canal specialist suggested taking the probiotic in the middle of the two antibiotics, e.g., 7 AM antibiotic #1 (with breakfast), 1 PM probiotic, #7 PM antibiotic #2 (with dinner) - and I cheat and just take the probiotic as I'm going to bed, because I'm not staying up till 1 AM! I had zero gastro ill-effects from the antibiotic with this regime and it was easy to remember.
I’m going to try this method tomorrow. Thank you so much!
Re fruit flies - ugh! My husband vacuums them up with the vacuum hose!
Your husband must have great aim 🤣
😂😂😂
Sweatbands for boobs exist! Just found some on a billionaire’s company site.
Hahahaha -- touché, Jules.
$32.99!!!??? For a sticky band? It's a woman tax.
Re the Seventh Generation bottle being smaller - I would guess yes. I’ve been noticing this with lots of products I typically buy this year, and it feels shady - I get that inflation is making everything more expensive, but it feels like the equivalent of raising the price but not letting the customer know. It’s like they’re hoping we won’t notice that we’re actually getting less product for the same price. A semi-related question: what happens when the rising cost of everything collides with student loans going into repayment? This is a fear I’m wrestling with as someone who is disabled and unable to work enough at the moment to make enough to pay all my bills, and is currently relying on some savings from previous years when I could work more that won’t last forever.
For the question of the billionaires, I don’t necessarily have an answer, but I think it has to do with the narratives we believe. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the narratives we tell as a society, and how strongly those narratives shape our actions. If you believe that people who are suffering are lazy, you’re much less inclined to do things you could that would help alleviate their suffering.
As to moving away from friends and family at 18, I feel this so much! Now I’ve lived in the place I moved to at 18 for 10 years, and made incredible friends here, so even if I were to move back closer to my hometown, my heart will forever be in two places. And I often think about how my life would be different if I had stayed closer to home at 18. There are definite benefits and things I love where I currently live, but some days I really wish I was closer to family.
I like this stream of consciousness style of writing, and appreciate you asking the questions that have been on your mind. This is definitely how my brain works too.
I feel so much seen-ness in your response, Kelly. Thank you for taking the meandering journey with me.
It's crazy-making to see just how plausible it is to create a better world for *everyone* through reallocation of funds, but more than that (as you stated) with a shift in defining the heroes of our national stories. What if the hero wasn't the person with the most stuff? What if the heroes were the innovators in alleviating the aches of society? What if we were more than consumer projects and guinea pigs?
I moved decades ago, too. I am torn because I love the relationships here AND I miss my people so much. I just want us all to be together (preferably in a place near the equator with a gentle sea breeze).
I definitely resonated with the questions you were asking!
My theory with billionaires is based on once hearing that most CEOs are basically functioning sociopaths. I think they are basically incapable of thinking of other people. They are so stepped in themselves that nothing else exists.
"Functioning sociopaths." Whoo. Odd that this would be rewarded behavior, unless the prize is mammon. Which, sadly, it is.